Take a breath, relax and follow a simple plan of action.
Last week, as I was rummaging through my jewelry box looking for a lapel pin, I came across a long forgotten 9mm bullet that was meant to take my life. In an instant it was 1989 and I was in Central America--El Salvador to be specific--with my son, Richard.
I had previously worked in that region of the world as a civilian military advisor and had been attached to an anti-terrorist unit. Out of concern for my family, I was no longer in the international security business, but I still had a few contacts. This time I made the trip because I wanted to give Richard a bird’s eye view of just how lucky he was to live in the United States.
Richard had never been in the military. I thought the experience would be good for him. There was a war going on—there usually is in Central America—but it was my intent not to go too far into harm’s way. I should have known better. The first night in country our helicopter pilot was assassinated. A couple of days later the guerillas blew up the communications facility and knocked out all domestic and international telephone service.
Prior to El Salvador we spent a little time in Guatemala. Guatamala was then the home of Staff Sergeant Barry Sadler, the former Special Forces soldier who wrote the Ballad of the Green Berets. Richard went through Guatemalan Airborne School and earned his wings as a “paracadista.” Once I felt he had acclimated to military culture, we were off to El Salvador where we were attached to a Paratroop battalion. We spent a little time in the field, made a few jumps and had a lot of fun.
On our last night in country we went back to the main base at Illopongo. It was relatively safe there, although in a combat zone nothing is ever safe. Enemy commandos often infiltrated the lines and once in a while we were shelled. In fact, we were mortared later that evening.
We were having a few cocktails in the Officers’ Club and looking forward to our trip home the next day when a Salvadorian Army Officer approached me. He’d had a couple of drinks. There was fire in his eyes. In a low tone, barely audible, he started ranting about how much he hated Americans. After a few minutes his face took on a steely resolve. He discreetly pulled out his pistol and stuck it in my ribs. He informed me that he was going to kill me. There was no doubt in my mind that he was serious. Nor was there any uncertainty that in that environment he could have done it and gotten away with it, even if he was apprehended!
Don’t believe what you see in the movies about guys bravely facing down an armed assailant. It doesn’t happen. Twice I’ve seen guys shot who thought the perpetrator was bluffing. The guy with the gun is the driver’s seat. Make no mistake about it!
I was tighter than a banjo string and pooping razor blades. I realized most likely I was history. Begging wouldn’t have done any good and probably would have escalated my demise. Had I tried to subdue him in the club, I would have been killed for sure. I had to get him to play my game but I didn’t know what my game was. My mind was racing at warp speed. My training had taught me that the first thing I needed to do was to force myself to relax, calm down, and buy some time.
I whispered to him, “If you’re going to kill me, don’t do it in front of my son. Let’s go outside.” He agreed. The parking lot was basically empty except for a few cars and military vehicles on the far side. I motioned in that direction and started walking. He followed by my side with the gun in my ribs. I was hoping that he wouldn’t pull the trigger while we were still in the open. I took a few deep breaths, said a prayer. What I needed to do was develop a plan, plant it solidly in my subconscious and then consciously forget about it. I needed to let my actions flow naturally. If I was thinking about it, I would have become tense. I would lose the fluidity of motion and speed that I needed. I would have been a dead man for sure. We only had a step to go. In a second or less, I swiftly wrapped my arm around his gun arm and using a wrestling technique known as an arm bar, disarmed him, incapacitated him and drove his head into the side of a car rendering him severely unconscious Once it was over the fear hit me and I really started shaking.
What to do now? On the battlefield most likely I would have had no choice but to pick up his gun and shoot him. But we weren’t on a recognized battlefield. This guy was an officer, which would have made the incident high profile. There was no telling how something like that would play out. Besides, in spite of his actions, I had no desire to kill him unless I had no other choice. I really wanted to keep his pistol as a souvenir. Under the circumstances, that wouldn’t have been prudent. I’d have too much explaining to do if I got caught with his pistol. So, I unloaded the pistol by first releasing the magazine. I then tossed the clip as far away as I could. Then I pulled the slide to the rear, ejected the bullet from the chamber and threw his gun as far as I could in the opposite direction. I reached down, picked up the ejected round, subconsciously put it in my pocket and headed back to the club where I policed up my son, told him it was time to call it an evening and headed back to our quarters. The next day we flew home. As a souvenir, I had the bullet that was meant to kill me.
To this day, every day, I still thank God for His divine intervention that night.
Don’t get the mistaken impression that I’m some kind of John Wayne. I’m not. I just followed a prescribed plan of action. Prospecting for your home-based, direct sales business is no different.
True Masters recognize that recruiting is about being in listening mode 100% of the time. It is about learning to have prospects recruit you. It is about learning to ask questions and use minimal verbiage. This is a skill that takes time and concerted effort to learn. Few master it. Most fall into the proceeding category. See if the following applies to you:
You desperately want to succeed. Unwilling to let nature take its course, you decide to become hands-on and take charge of your destiny. In your frantic effort to become as proactive as possible, you decide to aggressively grab the bull by the horns. Your entire focus is limited to targeting others. You’ve lost sight of the fact that targeting is not necessary. Prospects are all around you and may appear unexpectedly at any time. You need to be ready for them but you’re not.
You approach your targeted prospects as adversaries, folks to be beaten into submission, folks to be “convinced.” The situation becomes one of “win or lose.” You become desperate and fear that you might not “get them in.” You panic, lose your self-control and start firing off every line you can recall hoping that something works. Your high-pressure attack not only doesn’t work, it telegraphs your intent to the prospect. You’ve now put him on his guard. He (or she) is not about to get sucked into anything. After a few encounters like this, psychologically and emotionally you’ve allowed yourself to be assassinated. They didn’t “beat” you. You beat yourself.
Take a lesson from my experience in Central America. Stand back and remove yourself from the immediacy of the situation until you’ve had time to relax and take a breath.
Remember, if you are not yet a Master, the prospect, like my friend in El Salvador, is in the driver’s seat. Your only advantage is that you know what he’s thinking but he doesn’t know what you’re thinking unless you tip him off. If you attempt to overwhelm him (with information), he’ll beat you, for sure. If you beg, you’ll come across as pathetic and you’re dead.
Get him (or her) away from his own mental and physical environment. Look for neutral territory; it’s actually better than your turf, which may cause him to become more defensive.
Utilize a plan based on a simple technique or phrase* that you’ve rehearsed countless times. The simpler, the better. Integrate that plan into your subconscious. Visualize positive results. Let your plan unfold and flow forth smoothly and naturally. The plan needs to revolve around taking it to the next step, moving to an environment that is more to your advantage. In this case, it means booking a follow up.
Over the years I had practiced the “arm bar” hundreds of times. I knew it worked in training, why wouldn’t it work for real? The same philosophy applies to prospecting.
Have confidence in yourself and the outcome. Go with the flow. Remember prospecting is a process. You don’t have to kill him, just move him along towards the end result.
Does this analogy make sense?
You see now that I’m no hero. I just maintained a modicum of self-control and followed a simple plan. With a little effort, you can do the same thing to build your business.
(This anecdote is the precursor of my experiences as a cab driver in Chapter 9 of Reflections of a Master and is offered in response to requests for the beginning of that story.)
*Simple phrases and techniques are covered in other chapters.